ME
For Me tO KnoW For YoU tO fInd OUt Singapore Time |
Let The SUn SHiNe IntO YouR Life
Part One I alwaz knew i had taken things for granted. Like i thought i could spend more time with my fish after exams even though i had knew its days were numbered. I gotta admit that i was never really into fishes, till that time i had the chance to feed it, and kinda started to enjoy its existence in my house. That day when it died, right before my eyes, struck me how little time and effort i had put in for it. It's alwaz my parents who have been so caring towards it. That corner of my living room which was alwaz lit with the light from the fish tank, filled with noise from the water ventilation suddenly became so dark at night... This realisation that it had become part of my household came too late. There's this sudden loss that's kinda unexplainable, perhaps i can comprehend Xiu jie's feelings better, how she felt when her hamsters left her. Even if i had all the time in the world, i would never gg to have it back anymore. That's how life is. Hmm... but sometimes i wonder whether the things i did was right. Some times it's just unintentional, but i guess at the spur of moment, at that particular moment, when things get to the stage that certain stuff just happen... Possibility of salvaging??? Would it be like how the broken glass has been pieced back, yet the cracks remain forever? Or would it be like a com which can be reformatted, everything can be started afresh? Part Two There's lots of questions marks that goes ??????????????????????? in my head. It's not that i had been extraordinarily inquisitive... it's juz some doubts between the lines... the truth tt i would like to seek. Unfortunately, i suppose i had the anwers myself. Reality bites. That's the way life is. I do not wish to use that "escape" word or the like of it. Confrontation is the unprecedented challenge that i seemed to have taken up recently. Am i just trying to prove that i am right/they are wrong? Are they trying to prove they are right/i am wrong? Whatever. Pple never admits their mistakes anyway. They just go on to prove their points further and their final resort is to exploit their authority over you. Solution? ... Isolation? Rejection? Nope... it's rebellion. It's the fight against that due external control that has been so overpowering, breathing down your neck that makes one want to retaliate. Success is dim coz life's never fair. Talk about equity? Respect? Forget it.. it only exists in those moral ed books which are meant to be read and ... it's up to oneself to process it. Had i wished i hadnt stood up for myself, my true feelings, my rights? I doubt so. I thought with my left, right brains, I thought it over again countlessly and still came to a conclusion that i hadnt been wrong. The ironic thing was the outcome occurred as expected. Reality pierced through my heart as it pained to be hurt and to hurt others. RighT HeRe wAitIng FoR yOU @ 12:04 AM + + + *HUGS* TOTAL! give StaR_LinG more *HUGS* Get hugs of your own |
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